CLUB TANTRA ORIENTATION
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Always ask a person--say, person P--to whom you’re attracted and P’s mate/date and your own mate/date if it’s ok before you touch P. Ask each time you touch P more intimately/sexually. Ask, for example, when you progress from general touching (the foot, back, etc.) to sensual touching (the breast, buttocks, etc.) When you further progress from sensual to sexual touch (the genitals), ask permission again. If P says, "No," don’t insist, persist or attempt to manipulate P into saying, "Yes." You can, later, ask again, but wait at least five minutes before you ask again. Don’t beg or whine. If you get a second no, you can ask P if s/he would be willing to say why s/he is telling you "no. If s/he says s/he’d rather not say, do not press the issue or insult P. Do something else. |
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Once you’ve asked P, s/he knows you’re interested. Allow P time to mentally "try that one on" to see how it fits with or his/her inner voices and psyche and that s/he may approach you. At the Club Tantra, we want everyone to have a good experience. For your experience to be good, you must make choices from your CENTER . If your Pleaser subself chooses, your Inner Critic may later resent you did and feel bad about the party. Honoring your NO frees the way for the YES which comes from your discerning center. PRACTICE SAFE SEX; SHARE SEXUAL HISTORY Review with your potential new sexual partner(s) sexual history and tell them yours. Ask them about their sexual history, who they’ve been with, what precautions they took regarding sexually transmitted diseases and contra-conception and ascertain who they are and if you want to be vulnerable with them. Many people lie about sex. Sometimes people lie without realizing they’re lying. Sometimes they’ve engaged in sex with someone and it somehow doesn’t count (like Bill Clinton with Monica). Some may not "count" a sexual liaison if they were not in love or it happened long ago. When in doubt protect yourself. Wear condoms, use spermicide or have fun with partners short of intercourse. Take personal responsibility, assuming you cannot count on others, but must rely on yourself. No protections is 100% effective. There are no guarantees. However you may not chose to live your life guided by fear. Trust your inner guidance. Find the balance within yourself, for you and your partner(s) and when you do, go with what flows and have fun within your own limitations and boundaries. Pray. BOUNDARIES, EXPECTATIONS, LIMITATIONS & DESIRES We encourage you to express your boundaries, expectations, limits and desires fully during the check-in and other sharing parts of the evening so you can experience more love, bliss, fun and joy. The keys: authenticity and candor. Look within. Experiment consciously. Discover what you like. Find out and express what excites, upsets, intrigues or bores you. Set your boundaries and communicate them with others. Make statements that begin with "I" and express your emotions, thoughts, wants, needs and limits without judgement or fear of others’ judgements. Club Tantra is a safe haven where you can discover and develop your diverse playful, erotic and romantic aspects, making choices right for you in the moment. Fully feel, embrace and express all your emotions; they show you you’re alive. Find your sensual voice in an atmosphere that respects your protective voices and let your sensual side soar, free at last! Move outside of your box (self-imposed restrictions) at any given moment while you simultaneously take personal responsibility and create a safe space for yourself and explore and discover who you are. Clear avenues for honest communication. Empower yourself. Actualize your full potential. Provide your own prophylactic and contraceptive materials. Club Tantra doesn’t provide any lubes, condoms, oils or other protections from unwanted pregnancies or STD’s. Be smart and protect yourself. Many people have allergic reactions to condoms, lubes and oils, so bring your own that you know work with your body. Interview others about their preferences before touching them. Ask permission before applying your oils and lubes on another person. Wash frequently during the evening, especially your hands. Bring your own towel to sit on. Wash before and after you enter the hot tub. Wash your hands and genitals between sexual partners. Each individual has their own unique ecology which may be incompatible with another’s and mixing genital ecologies can cause yeast infections. Be conscious and help us all play safe. Your hosts, Xander and Kira, are highly-trained experts ready to support you if you experience an emotional reaction or have any questions and concerns. Ask them privately if it’s something you don’t want to share with the group. Or discuss your concerns in the group, if you like; your concerns can be a powerful exercise for everyone. Kira and Xander are tantric and polyamorous; they may make love with each other or lovers with whom they are in relationships during these events. If you wish to date the Lessins, ask how we can interview one another. Email them at CourtesanCouple@aol.com Cost: Annual Membership Fee: $150 per couple, $100 for single, Tantra Orientation interview and instructional class (required) $150, Parties: $100 per couple, $100 single men, $50 single women. Note: Annual Membership Fee is good for all Mingles for Singles, Tantra Connection or Club Tantra. First year membership fee is applicable towards classes and events throughout the first year of membership. School
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