STILL TANTRIC AFTER ALL THESE YEARS
by Janet Kira Lessin

I started living September 27, 1997 when I began an all-chakra tantric relationship. That was the day I moved in with Sasha, who became my husband. He literally saved my life. I’d met him three weeks earlier when I’d given up on life. Both my parents were dying, I had two failed marriages and I was living with an alcoholic who’d developed alcoholic psychosis, was delusional and frequently violent toward me. I was such an emotional wreck, I’d begun to deteriorate physically and would have died had my despair remained unchecked. Medical science couldn’t repair my ills. Traditional psychotherapy could only band-aid my pain. I was dying of a broken heart. I’d given up, I knew there was no hope. And I truly believed there was none; no, not for me. That was until I met my husband, Sasha.

Looking back at it all, I wonder why Sasha didn’t run. I was so dysfunctional. I was a time-bomb about to explode, dying because I’d been raped as a child, beaten as an adult, psychologically and emotionally abused in every relationship I’d known. I’d internalized my pain and created life-threatening diseases because I was so ill-at-ease. My role had been victim and I was a master of the game. Victims, while seeming poor and helpless are masters of manipulation. I was no exception. I was the consummate actress worthy of an Oscar; I could shape-shift and out-maneuver just about everybody. On top of it all, I was so unconscious, I was totally unaware there even was a game. Sasha, by volunteering to be next, was likely to reap the wrath of my relationships before him.

We started out sweetly enough, as all relationships do. We all go through the cycles of romance and love and our dance was no different. Three months into the relationship my Mother died and I started screaming. My Mother had been a perpetrator and I was her victim. She’d been very ill, undiagnosed schizophrenic. Mom was the end result of many cycles of multiple generational dysfunction that goes back hundreds, if not thousands of years. Like most perpetrators, she was acting out what was done to her. Since I was the youngest, most innocent and most vulnerable, I was her target. Lord only knows what was done to her. Mom and her family are all dead now, their secrets gone with them to the grave.

Sasha saved my life. If I had not met him I would not be here to write this today. My pain was so complete, so absolute, that I was certain to kill myself if disease did not claim me first.

Sasha saved my life with tantra. People think of tantra as a sexual thing, but tantra is an ancient art of sacred healing, the most effective healing method on this planet, when done right. When a beloved who’s trained in tantra, devoted to you and your life, give you unconditional focus and love, you’re guaranteed to heal. What I mean by "done right" is you do your work, both inner and outer, you clear your chakras, balance your energy and call in the devotee that you’ve waited for all your life. And if he or she or they aren’t showing up, you know you need to do more on yourself to call him, her or them in. When your beloved shows up and you answer fully, you awaken completely, pierce the veil of forgetfulness that you entered when you were born, remember your multi-dimensional self and discover your immortal self. You know your connection to God(dess), the Universe, each other and yourself. With clarity comes complete healing, for you, your beloved, your planet.

Sasha supports me fully and I support him. We’re open to one another on all chakras. I’d like to share how we relate in terms of each of the chakras.

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Sasha’s here for me at my base chakra, my root, my foundation, to do life fully with me. He honors my Inner Child and helps her feel safe, loved, supported and comfortable at all times. We will never leave each other, even if we die. There is no "until death do us part" because we recognize we’re immortal. I know that he’ll be with me and I’ll be with him, always. We’re totally, completed committed to one another, no matter what. We realize that we’ve always been together, though our silly egos didn’t realize that till now. We rejoice in our reunion. We’re blissful in the knowledge of our eternal connection. Our knowledge gives us peace. The wisdom we’ve gained empowers us to do our life’s mission.

Sasha supports me at chakra two, my genital chakra. Not only does he make sure that I am sexually fulfilled, he helps me fulfill my every fantasy. He encourages me to discover what I want rather than give in to pleasing others, including him. I’m always at choice regarding my sexually and he, as my devotee, has consciously decided, in the interest of my total healing, to meet me at my interest level. His desires have become my wish and my wish is his desire. Our decisions are one, always consensus, especially regarding this chakra, the sexual chakra, because this is where we humans often hold our greatest pain.

I’ve never had a man empower me before. Sasha does. This is the first relationship where I’m not at odds with my partner’s power chakra. Sasha’s so completely self-assured, at this, chakra three, the power-chakra, he supports me to take what’s rightfully mine and to stand beside him and other men in this society as equals. His self confidence leaves him unthreatened as I gain more power and sense of myself. Because he’s not wounded in his power chakra and he’s free from fear, we can join in true, equal partnership. Each of us can move away from hierarchy and domination and meet our brothers and sisters in harmony. When partners find peace and empower one another, the battle of the sexes ends once and for all.

As for chakra four, the heart chakra, Sasha loves me with all his heart. I love him, completely, totally. Our love is unconditional. Unconditional love is love in alignment with Source. We can give and receive love. We’re in balance, harmony. Our hearts are light, full of joy. We feel happy, free from fear of loss, abandonment. There’s no doubt of the depth of our love because our heart chakras are totally open to one another. There’s no need for words, the feeling’s palpable. The energy of our heart chakras penetrates into the cells of our being.

Chakra five, throat chakra: we communicate openly, fully, authentically, freely, passionately with the full emotional expression of our feelings. We accept one another’s words. We speak kindly to one another and if we momentarily forget because we are human and weak, we return to our centers and bring one another back into a heart space of divine love and loving communication. Since we forgive each other and ourselves beforehand, we freely express whatever we want and need, free from fear. We listen with compassion, open, surrendered, totally vulnerable. We never punish one another. If we find ourselves feeling victimized, we remind one another to forgive ourselves and each other. We remain in love if our tone rises or falls, gets loud or soft. The space we’ve created lets us be free, open and honest, we merge deeper and feel our oneness.

As for our sixth chakra, our logical and psychic centers, we share thoughts and visions. While I was always smart, Sasha’s intellect is huge and I’ve increased my IQ to meet his from our association because he encourages me to think, learn, grow and become all that I can be. While Sasha was always intuitive, I’ve scared myself with my psychic abilities. We’ve opened each others’ awareness of spiritual realms. Now we’ve both become so psychic and intuitive, we not only read each others’ thoughts we’re becoming downright telepathic. Watch out when you’re near us. We’ve begun to read minds. However, with our third-eye vision centers so fully open, we’re becoming more wise, loving and discerning and would let you continue your private thoughts even if they ring loudly in our heads.

 

Together Sasha and I’ve raised our kundalini to new levels and are connected to the cosmos with greater clarity than we had before we joined in sacred marriage. We feel oneness with each other, God, the Universe. We’ve found the light. Bliss. Joy and this joy allows us to feel peaceful and calm even in the eye of a hurricane. Even in the midst of war, for we know our immortal selves and our bodies, while extremely enjoyable, are not who we are; they’re only an extension of our consciousness manifesting into materialism. We are one in this, the seventh chakra, our crowns.

Relating toaly on all chakras, weaving your consciousness with your beloved you achieve total healing. Free yourselves from the matrix of Maya when you find the idea, logic, neuro-patterns, electrodes, light waves, thought waves, (whatever method you see or perceive), that lets you meander through the cosmic labyrinth and return home to Source. You experience Nirvana when you rediscover the moment and the thought where and when you first perceived yourself. You’re instantly and completely liberated from the Godspell when you remember going out from the light as light to experience beingness. In the meta-cosmic void you’re no longer controlled by external forces, the power elite, lack-consciousness, money, greed, jealousy, superstition or any other negative emotions or thoughts. You have direct experience of God. You no longer doubt God’s existence and need an intermediary to talk to God. You know you and the Divine are one.

Sasha and I are in awe. We look at each other, amazed at where we’ve come. From our shaky beginning, we’ve created the divine relationship, the conscious consorts, the sacred relationship. We connect on all levels. We experience unity consciousness, our minds, bodies, souls and hearts merged into one. We make all our decisions by total consensus. Like a two-headed amoeba, we recognize that we’re a system, one, united, joined at the hearts. We’re like Siamese twins and realize that we could not possibly harm the other without totally devastating ourselves. He is me and I am he.

Are we unique among humans? No, I believe dyadic consciousness, becoming one with a lover is just one step on the road to spiritual awakening. Next level for us is to merge synergistically one with another beloved person, couple or group.

We all come from Source, we’re all one. We only feel our separation to gain experience. As we come full circle, we remember our oneness. On a physical level, when we’re ready to move beyond our separate self-sense, we connect, first with another. After we work out our differences, fears, limitations and expectations, we attempt to dance with several. We dare to surrender and merge and come to realize that we can simultaneously be one with others and not lose ourselves.

Sasha and I are polyamorous; we’re learned we can access divinity through each other and through loving other lovers too. We’ve already experienced moments of triadic and quadratic consciousness with others who’ve been brave enough to merge with us. We haven’t yet figured out how to sustain that over time. However, I’m certain we’ll get there.

We realize from our experiment in consciousness that merging with one other is a delicate dance, the first step in an elaborate, choreographed production. The dance of the souls is beautiful to watch, intricate and complex. Souls mix and match, swirl and combine, create sacred geometry. We were all together when we started, we all loved one another equally, totally, completely, unconditionally. Eventually we’ll be one again.

Actually we souls are always one and we chose our focus. When we become conscious we realize we’re connected with everyone. The connection’s palpable, undeniable. We feel it. If we could achieve oneness and sustain it, from that divine state of universal oneness there could not possibly be any war, famine, hatred or prejudice. We’d realize that we’re all parts of the divine manifesting in various forms as a statement of individual artistic expression. Our individuality is our way of co-creating with God(dess) and diversity of expression is what life is all about.

Sasha and I remain confident that we’ll call in our other beloved(s). We’re now in a space where our cup overflows, love abounds and we are ready to share, merge and meld and experience unity consciousness with more than one. Soul groups are finding one another. Each member has a piece of the puzzle necessary to heal and feel our oneness. All souls are equally important, no matter what their station, experience, intelligence, appearance or level of wealth here in physical reality.


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