WHEN YOUR PARTNERS RESIST TANTRA
by Janet Kira Lessin,
Chief Focalizer, World Polyamory Association

Sometimes one partner discovers tantric sex and their lovers don't want to
participate. Be honest with what you think and feel. Offer to show your lovers
what you discovered and why you feel tantric sex's a wonderful lifestyle choice.
Speak to your partners about your desire to practice tantra. Give them a chance
to be supportive.

AVOID CLIMBING UP ON THE PULPIT

It's almost impossible to convert someone to what you think and believe. Honor
your partners' path. Let them be themselves and be yourself as well. Like
philosophy or religion, deep thoughts regarding spirituality and sexuality are
unique to each individual and are very personal choices.

MAINTAIN YOUR PERSONAL INTEGRITY

Hold fast to your personal truth. Don't succumb to emotional blackmail. When you
keep your integrity you may suffer some consequences, but you'll never lose
yourself.

WORTH A MILLION

Supply your lovers with videos, u-tubes, web sites, books and audios to illustrate that tantra's a
sacred practice that enhances your relationship with them. Explain the mood,
energy, spirit and philosophy of tantra to your partners. Videos are often the
most effective mediums for beginners to understand tantric sex. Sometimes a
picture is worth a thousand words, and a video is worth a million.

FEARS, CONCERNS, HONOR AND RESPECT

Tell your sweethearts that you understand their fears and concerns surrounding
anything involving sex and promise them you won't engage in any activities that
are not in alignment with your relationship agreements. Then honor your word.
Your partners deserves your love and respect. Shop around for a tantra seminar
or practitioner that will honor, respect and support your relationship
agreements. There are many to chose from.

BE HONEST, TRUE, LOYAL AND BLUE

Be honest if you decide to attend a workshop, class or see a practitioner
without your partners. Explain that your intention in gaining this knowledge is
to deepen your relationship and strengthen your connection with them.

When you attend these functions, don't do anything to create secrets, lies or
withholds from your beloveds. In other words, would they want you doing what you
are doing? If you think you can do something and not get caught, don't believe
it. We're all psychic and they'll feel your lies or evasions. Don't create
barriers to your greater intimacy and eternal bliss with your beloveds that you
will never be able to heal. That moment when you cheat or sneak is not worth the
pain you'll reap in the long run.

REINFORCE YOUR LOVE

After your class, private session or seminar share your experiences with your
beloveds. As you learn, show them the immediate affects of your training and
your new-found sensitivity, loving ways, caring attitudes and spiritual depth.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, a video is worth a million, then a
person who changes for the good is worth a billion. Invite them to join you the
next time you want to study tantra at an entry level event that would feel safe
and is non-threatening to them. Be patient with them. Let them share their
concerns and give you feedback.

SUBCONSIOUS WOUNDS

Offer to go to a psychological counselor who specializes in tantric psychology
to address any of their fears if they seem to over-react or become irrational.
Your sweethearts may have been victims of childhood abuse which is repressed
deep in their psyches and they need your love more now than ever.

PLEASE GIVE ME PATIENCE

Be firm about your desire to continue your studies and reinforce your commitment
to honesty and remaining true to your relationship agreement. Over time,
they'll relax and open up to the idea, if you remain patient, honest and
consistent.
***

Janet Kira Lessin is co-author, with husband Dr. Sasha Lessin, of How To Really
Love A Woman: 4 Tantric Trysts (click  School of Tantra Books by the Lessins: How to Really Love A Woman by Janet Kira Lessin & Sasha Lessin, Ph. D.)