Create a comfortable private space where she can emote without interruption, even loudly, for a few hours.  Surround her with pillows, water, music, scented candles.  

     Read the cues in bold print aloud (silently follow directions in square brackets). When you read out loud, emphasize italicized words. Where you see ***, it's your partner's cue to respond.

     Sit facing her, your right hand on her heart, her right hand on your heart.  Rest your left hand over her right and have her put her left over your right.  

    Gaze in her eyes; breath deeply together, chests rising in harmony.   Image love pouring eye-to-eye, heart-to-heart, hand-to-hand and, especially, eye-to-eye. 

   Tell her,  "I'm dedicated help you heal any hurts you might harbor and to encourage you to enjoy more sexual ecstasy.   May you, by our intention, know, accept and celebrate yourself better.  May you appreciate more, who you are truly.  I pray this exercise assists you to  better know and appreciate who you truly are."
   

    Move apart gently and softly lay her head down on her pillow.  Kiss her sweetly; maintain eye contact, center yourself as a  compassionate, non-judgemental witness, move into active listening mode.

    Say, You're now ready to program yourself for joy.  I'm your friend.  I'm here for you.  I love and support you.  You're safe now.

    Here, in this sanctuary you can at last reveal your sexual secrets.  You can release scripts imprinted that interfere with your love, awareness and sexual ecstasy.  You can let your emotions emerge, your fear, anger, sorrow and joy.  

Lie on your back. Relax. [Give her time to relax] Put your right hand on your yoni . [Give her more time to relax]. Feel your sexual center.

 

Imagine you are your yoni . Imagine, Yoni, you have a voice that responds to my queries. What, Yoni, is your existence, what are you like as [her name]'s, vagina? ***

 

What's your history, Yoni, from birth to now? How have you been treated physically and emotionally? ***

 

If you, Yoni, controlled [name] and were her main inner voice, what would you have her do? ***

 

How have you served her? What would you like to appreciated for? ***

 

Thank you, Yoni. Please let return to her Center (Aware Ego). [Help her shift.]

 

Notice if any of your yoni tissues hurt or worry you, or feel numb, now or in the past. If no area hurts, imagine a part of you wants to speak of an event in its history Tell me what you get. ***

 

Select one of the areas you mentioned. If numb, deaden it more. If tense, tighten more. If it hurts, let the pain grow. Make the sound of how it feels now. ***

 

Remember (or fantasize, for this life or earlier) when you experienced similar pain, trauma or frustration that involved another person. When you recall a situation or scene, tell me how old you were. ***

 

Relive that situation. See, hear, smell, taste, feel the emotions and physical sensations, think again as you did then. Describe the situation in the present tense, as though it's happening now. ***

 

What emotions do you feel in the situation? ***

 

Feel and intensify those feelings now. Then express yourself aloud to people involved. ***

 

What did you decide as a result of this upset? ***

 

How did what you decided influence your life? ***

 

What would you have like to do that you didn't? ***

 

Let's REDO the scene the way you'd now re-write it. I'll play the other person involved, but this time, I'll act the way you say. I'll play [Mom, Pop, Boyfriend--whomever your partner's specified]. How would you like me to play this? ***  [Re-enact the incident again, following the new scenario. Encourage full expression of feelings.]

 

FORGIVE yourself and each of the others involved. Or, if you're not ready to forgive, tell me what you need to complete. ***

 

Create an AFFIRMATION to summarize what you learned. ***

 

Shout your affirmation. *** Again, louder. ***

 

Imagine and describe a future scene when you live from the affirmation instead of your earlier decision. Describe the scene as you imagine it. ***

 

Tell me what you learned. *** Thank You.

 

* Sanscrit word for female genitals.

Dr. Alex Lessin and Janet Kira Lessin see couples, individuals and families privately. They also lead seminars. Send  questions and receive information on line, via e-mail or call Janet and Sasha at 808-244-4103 (Maui), Email: SchoolofTantra@aol.com