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SHARE INTIMATE CONFIDENCES TO SHARE WITH YOUR LOVERS
by Sasha
Lessin, Ph.D. http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com
Enhance the
intimacy of your poly lovers. Gather your pod, triad, quad
or network, preferably in person–but on the net or video
network or even by snail mail–and share your responses to
the completions below. Then ask each other for elaborations
on the responses you share.
The idea is
to know each other’s emotions, thoughts, fantasies, hopes,
fears, secrets, wants, needs, shames, inner conflicts, joys,
in short, everything about them as well as you (hopefully)
know their bodies and sexual preferences.
If you’re
doing this exercise in person, one of you read the sentences
in bold print aloud to your partners, then
each of you answer. Read anything enclosed in square
brackets [like this] silently.
COMPLETE UNFINISHED SENTENCES
1. SAY WHAT
YOU FEAR, DESIRE, HOPE FOR IN YOUR POLY GROUP
What l fear is ...
What I desire and hope for is ...
2. WHAT
WORKED, WHAT DIDN’T
The
last time I wanted to (or did) scream or yell was
...
I wanted to yell because ...
The
last thing that didn't work for me in my
relationship with each of you was ... [Specify
for each person in the group].
What works for me now in relationship with each of
you is ... [Specify for each lover].
What I appreciate about my relationship with each of
you is ... [Specify for each].
3.
SEPARATIONS, ONENESSES
I
feel separate from you when I think ...[Specify
for each lover].
I
feel oneness with you when I tell myself ...
[Specify for each].
4. SHARE
INTENSE FEELINGS
The
biggest disappointments in my life were ...
The biggest challenges in my life now are ...
What I'm most afraid of is ...
My
most destructive behavior pattern is ...
Here's what I think of each of you ...
5. SHARE
MORE
My
two most treasured memories of love are ...
I'd be willing to die for ...
The
last time I cried was ...; what I was crying
about was ...
Here's the hardest things about living with those in
my home ...
The things that make those I live with a pleasure to
live with are ...
6. TALK
ABOUT SEX
The best and worst things about my sex life are
...
The
features I like most and the ones I like least about
my body are ...
One sexual fantasy I'd like fulfilled is ...
7. EXPOSE
WHAT YOU LIKE AND LOATH
What I like least about each of you is ...
What I like least about each of you is (or was) also my
trait in this way...
What I like least about myself is ...
What I like most about each of you is ... [Specify for
each lover].
What I like most about myself is ...
8. MODIFY
YOUR LOVERS
If
I could change each of you one way, I'd ...
I’d modify myself by ....
9. DISCLOSE
DISLIKES, DISCOMFORTS, DEMANDS FOR EACH LOVER
I resent ...
I want ....
10. DESIRES
FOR EACH LOVER
For you I want ....
11. FORGIVE
I forgive [say the name of each relevant lover] for
...
12. COUNT
BLESSINGS
What I prize about each of our relationships is ...
What I value about each of you is ...
13. RISK
SHARING SECRETS
You don't know I ...
The
biggest mistake I ever made was ...
The most dishonest, dishonorable, things I've ever
done were ...
The
fears and hang-ups I have that I hide are ...
Two things I don't want you to know about me are ...
I risk our relation, revealing ...
If
I had it to do over again I would/wouldn't
get involved with [name of each person you're
most intimate with] because ...
14. DECLARE
YOUR INTENTIONS
Before I die, I intend to ...
By
ten years from today, I'll attain In five
years, I figure I'll finish ...
For the next two years, my objectives are ...
This year, I'll ...
The
next two months, I'll manifest ...
This month, I'll manage to ...
This week I'll ...
Tomorrow, I'll ...
Today I'll ...
15. RELEASE
AT DECEASE
I
want my Will to say ....
If
I die first, here's how I'd want each of you to
live out the rest of your lives ...
16. CONJURE
COMING INCARNATIONS
If I imagine a future-life relationship, after I've complete
the lessons about relations I learned in this one, here's
what my future life would be like ...
The parts of the future-life relationship I imagine that I
can create in this life ...
sashalessinphd@aol.com
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World Polyamory Association 
