Polyamory Newsletter October 2004. Vol. I
Published by Janet Kira Lessin, P.T.S.. and Sasha (Alex) Lessin, Ph.D.
808 244-4103
email WorldPolyamory@aol.com, http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/

Janet's Intro:
If you want to see time fly like never before, put on a polyamory conference. You think you have three months to get it all done. But
blink your eyes and you're down to the wire.

Here at the World Polyamory Association in Maui, we're super excited, getting tons of calls, lots of support for the Laguna Beach Poly Conference, Loving Beyond the Matrix. Laguna will be the best polycon ever, that is, until the next conference. Each conference
surpasses the previous because we're riding a wild wave to global peace, love and transformation for all humanity.

Polyamory's the peace perspective. Make love not war. Respect individuality and relationship choice. Discover who you are and feel
good about it. Overcome prejudice. Experience triadic, quadratic and/or group consciousness. Go beyond the dyadic paradigm, of one mirror to the many, so that you can experience more of yourself.

Mahalo, Aloha and Blessings,
Janet Kira Lessin

This issue contains:
1. EXPLORE RELATIONSHIP CHOICE Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.
2. YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL, SOMEDAY YOUR LOOKS WILL BE GONE Janet Kira Lessin
3. PROGRAM FOR LAGUNA BEACH CONFERENCE: LOVING BEYOND THE MATRIX
4. LAGUNA POST-CONFERENCE: TANTRA WITH STEVEN VOGUE AND ANASTAS HARRIS
5. WORLD POLYAMORY ASSOCIATION CONFERENCES
A. Laguna Beach, CA - Oct 22-24, 2004 - Loving Beyond the Matrix
B. Orange Springs, FL - Ap 20-26, 2005 - Return to the Tribe - Week- Long Experiment in Conscious Community
C. Harbin Hot Springs, CA - June 17-19, 2005 - Celebrate Relationship Choice
D. Bryn Mawr, PA - Sept 23-25, 2005 - Perfecting the Polyamory Paradigm
6. CALL FOR PRESENTERS
7. DEADLINE TO REGISTER FOR LAGUNA MEALS
8. DAY RATE FOR LAGUNA CONFERENCE ADDED
9. OPENINGS STILL AVAILABLE ON LAGUNA CONFERENCE POLY DISCUSSION PANEL
10. CONFERENCE INTERVIEWS

***************
1. EXPLORE RELATIONSHIP CHOICE Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.
You're the chooser. It's your life. You have the right, even the duty, to yourself to be true to yourself at this very time and stage
of your earthly existence. At some stage, you may find you're ready to love and share sex with more than one partner.

Flowing, true to yourself, you naturally love many people. In polyamory--authentically and candidly loving more than one person at
the same time--you can express this part of you that experiences the connections between you and other people and work out ways for you to connect that enhance all parties.
***************

2. YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL, SOMEDAY YOUR LOOKS WILL BE GONE by Janet Kira Lessin
Our society dictates everything to us; things like what to buy, believe, wear and do. Through movies, magazines and all forms of
media we're programmed with concepts of what's good and bad, beautiful and ugly. But the reality is, not all of us have bodies of
models. Not all of us have faces that could launch a thousand ships. On top of it all we're rushing to outrun the ravages of aging. We're told that if we don't wed by a certain age we're old and washed up, useless and no longer beautiful. Our biological clocks tick,
confirming our weaknesses by allowing us a short window of opportunity to procreate. Our ability to reproduce is also seen as a
measure of success.  

To top all that off, even if we manage to date and mate, breed and procreate, more often than not our relationships fail. We spend most of our youth growing, learning, building and creating only to find it all fall apart when we don't see eye to eye.  One of the leading reasons for divorce is issues involving sexuality.  We start out hot and passionate, mating like minks then something happens and we drift apart. Often we drift to thoughts of others, imagined or real. With the internet and cybersex, fantasies and infatuations which were formerly flights of fancy, take on reality and rock our worlds.  Where do each of us as we journey through life fall on the continuum between failure and success? What happens to our self esteem if we "fail"? How can we possible build ourselves up when so few actually meet the idyllic model of love, romance, finance and success?

When I was young I bought into the conventional ideas of beauty. I did everything I could to maintain my body and fall into the realm of attractive. When I dated I only selected those who were attractive. I didn't want to be anything less than beautiful and I refused to be seen with anything less than beautiful.  Carly Simon wrote, "Young and beautiful, someday your looks will be gone". Life delivers that lesson to most of us in spades. At my twenty year high school class reunion I already saw the ravages of time on the faces and bodies of my classmates. I wondered what I looked like to them. I didn't dare venture to the 30th reunion. I can only imagine what we formerly youthful, gorgeous beings look like to one another now.

Now on my third marriage and polyamorous, I've developed a new appreciation for appearances and a different perspective on beauty. I met Sasha, my husband when he was 57 and I was 43. I've watched his face change over time, and the lines and gray hairs that have emerged over the past years add character and make his face more interesting.  His beauty shines through his eyes that sparkle and glisten with divine light and spirit of the soul that resides within. I hope he has the same thoughts about me. From what he's shared, I think he feels the same way about me as I do about him.  I've been blessed to look into hundreds of eyes over the years. At conference, workshops, parties and events I've attended we sometimes celebrate in a sacred ceremonial dances called pujas. In a puja, we move from person to person and look deeply into each other's eyes.

Through this powerful and intimate process I've learned that each person, no matter what age, color, size or shape, has incredible
beauty. God and consciousness runs through each of us. God's light shines out through the eyes. In that moment when I look deep into each person's eyes, I feel love. I imagine what it might be like to be in love with that person. Through this process, I've found that
each and every one of them is loveable. I imagine if we could get the whole world to gather in sacred puja, we'd find that when we get down to the core of who we truly are, that every person on this planet is truly loveable.

3. PROGRAM FOR LAGUNA BEACH CONFERENCE: LOVING BEYOND THE MATRIX

Friday Oct 22, 2004 Terrace Room
8:30 AM Registration Desk Opens
9:15 - 10:20AM Welcome, ORIENT TO POLYAMORY Janet Kira Lessin & Dave Doleshal

Janet and Dave orient all to the conference. They, oldtimers and newcomers question each other and share experiences.

10:20AM - 12:30 PM - PODS FOR INTIMATE COMMUNITY Sasha Lessin

We play––first wordlessly. Then we talk and join small (6 -12 person) groups. Our group is our pod. Our pod supports us getting what we want at the conference and in life. Throughout the weekend, we talk with our pod mates about what we learn about poly loving. To prepare for experiences Shama, Don Kraig and Harold Kornylak lead, we imagine taking new lovers into our net. We roleplay joining established lovers. Tomorrow we report how we're doing fulfilling fantasies.

12:30 - 1:30PM Lunch

1:30 - 2:30PM TOUCH WITH INTENTION Les Nuckles

This presentation teaches people to touch and/or be present using focus and intention. There's some lecture with lots of hands-on time.  This workshop prepares attendees to get more from the workshops that follow and to be better able to connect with others.

2:30 - 3:30PM HOW TO ENTER AN ESTABLISHED POLY RELATIONSHIP Shama & Don Kraig

Learn to be a successful third, fourth, or fifth wheel! Navigating the waters smoothly when entering an established relationship can be
rough. Shama & Don reveal important pointers that make the journey easier. You learn the most important aspects of how to deal with exciting dynamics a new person brings; the wonders and the potential pitfalls. Learn to create balance and harmony in triads and beyond.  Explore practical skills including communication tools that can be used immediately to enhance and expand the quality of all your relationships.

3:30 - 4:30 PM ON AGREEMENTS Dawn Davidson &

"Safer" Agreements Agreements are one of the cornerstones of successful relating, in all aspects of our lives. We'll cover how to
make more successful agreements, what should and shouldn't be in a safer sex agreement, and how to make agreements regarding emotional safety. We'll also discuss the agreements in our lives we're usually not even aware of. We will cover why agreements fail, and how to help insure their success. We'll also discuss how to recover when they fail. We'll be spending out time together in a combination of lecture, interactive discussion, and exercises

4:30 - 5:30PM THE BI-POLY OPTIONS FOR THE 21ST CENTURY Ed Jor-El Elkin

Explore bi-sexual polyamorous relationship in a safe and supportive environment. This workshop is for all levels of interest, especially
for the Bi-Curious as well as the Bisexually experienced. A theoretical and experiential guide to the Bi-Poly option with guided
imagery, pair and multiple partner exercises. Using movement and dance, transformational theater and role-playing exercises with
opposite sex and same sex partners, we explore the bi-poly option in fantasy and in "reality".

5:30 - 6:30 PM Dinner, SONGS BY SOPHIA SONGHEALER

Sophia's songs coronate archetypes of love, beauty, strength, joy, compassion and wisdom to reign in our hearts.

6:45 - 7:00 PM POLYAMORY: LOVE BEYOND THE MATRIX Janet Kira Lessin

Janet invites you to set aside who you think you are and reorganize brain cells and emerge from this conference, able to stand proud and say, "I'm polyamorous" and love beyond the matrix.

7:00 - 8:30 PM Tantra Ritual for Polys Sophia Songhealer

Sophia's ceremonial songs move us through energy exchanges that uplift and support all-chakra connecting

8:30 - 10:15 PM BEYOND THE DANCE OF TWO Harold Kornylak

An enduring, fulfilling two person partnership is rare enough, even most animals tend to pair bond, so is it totally impractical to think
of expanding beyond the dyad, perhaps to 3, or 4? Well, for those who enjoy the challenge, lets explore some of the unique dynamics when more than 2 relate together. How do we keep a triad from being a pair plus one. Get some insight into your own relating styles and how compatible these styles are with going beyond the dyad. (Discussion and experiential exercises).

10:15 - midnight TANTRIC POLYAMORY Shama & Don Kraig

We frequently hear in the media how sex in relationships eventually becomes boring. Even some people in poly relationships often find themselves in a rut, doing the same old thing while getting lesser results. It doesn't have to be that way! Through Tantra, you can
experience NOW how to resurrect the passion and ecstasy in every aspect of your life as you expand your passion, your pleasure, and the depth of your intimacy beyond your wildest dreams! Step into a new paradigm of love, of sex and of living. Shama and Don Kraig guide you on this amazing exploration of awakening, consciousness and bliss.

SATURDAY October 23, 2004

7:30 - 8:30 AM Breakfast

9:30 - 11:00 AM HOW WE DO POLY Janet Kira Lessin, Panel & Participants

This is a very popular format and often the favorite part of the conference for many. The panel is led by Janet Kira Lessin and
includes polys of several varieties and everyone else who wishes to share how they make polyamory work for them. The audience gets to ask question, so everyone's included. Newbies get valuable answers to begin their poly lives.

11:00AM - 12:30PM HAWKINS' COSMOLOGY, POLYAMORY AND YOU Anastas Harris & Steven Vogue

David Hawkins has developed a cosmology of human consciousness that takes us from the lowest to the highest levels of human
consciousness. He did this through research using applied kinesiology on hundreds and thousands of people over ten years time. He found that regardless of race, culture, religion, nationality, class, personality, state of mental health or even personal beliefs, almost
exactly the same cosmology emerged with each individual. More than that when each state was rated for the level of life energy it
represented, that too was, almost completely consistent across the board of the people tested.  We'll take that cosmology and apply it to relationships to determine how each level impacts the possibility for polyamory. We've also looked at our own relationship from Hawkin's perspective. We'll share this cosmology and our insights into it and give an example from our own relationship as it relates to the different levels.  Then you'll participate in a small group exploration of each person's current challenge in polyamory from the perspective of the cosmology of human consciousness. You'll have the opportunity to bring to the table a difficult or uncomfortable experience for you in the poly realm. You'll reflect upon and discuss your experience. You'll ask yourself where are you, where do you want to be? What do you need to believe, know, do to be there?

12:30 - 1:30 PM Lunch

1:30 - 3:30 PM RESOLVE POLY CONFLICTS IN A TRIBE - Ed Seykota

Ed Seykota shares his powerful method of re-framing and combining your emotional forms to enhance intimacy. Ed shows you how to use sending and receiving to convert ""problems"" such as jealousy and insecurity into positive elements on your emotional control panel. Ed likes to use examples from the audience, so this is a participatory lab course. For more information on the method, see
http://www.tradingtribe.com/

3:30 - 5:00 PM MANAGE JEALOUSY Dave Doleshal

Psychologist Dave Doleshal introduces and leads the seminar
practicing Callahan and Bach's innovative and rapid techniques for
jealousy management.

5:00 - 6:00 PM Dinner

6:00 - 7:30 PM PAIR BONDING, ROMANTIC LOVE & MULTIPLE PARTNER SEXUALITY Leanna Wolfe

Is serial monogamy the normal human mating pattern? How then do we explain other patterns including polygamy, polyamory, and swinging?  To address these questions, we'll examine cross-cultural research on romantic passion as well as the brain chemistry of romantic love.  Next we'll compare how the cultures of dating singles, swingers and polyamorists engage pairbonding and romantic love. We'll consider how singles focus on the differences between how women and men fall in love and evaluate making a pairbonded commitment. Next we see how polyamory mitigates against jealousy by celebrating compersion and maintaining relationship hierarchies and how swinging culture largely teases up sexual attraction while reinforcing the strength of the marital bond. We'll reconsider the idea humans are serially monogamous. What keeps people swinging, or practicing open marriage, polygyny,
polyandry and polyamory happy are the many different kinds of love they access simultaneously.

7:30 - 9:30 PM INTIMATE EROTIC PHOTOGRAPHY & POLY RELATIONSHIPS Wilton Jones

This presentation is about four people who agreed to share a part of their intimate relationships with the world. Using photographs taken earlier this year as a samples, we will discuss how this photo session helped a poly family incorporate and we partner in much less time than it might have taken in the past. We'll also discuss how you can use photography to both enhance your relationships and create images that are erotic and sensual without being lewd.

9:30 -11:00 PM HYPNOFANTASY & HYPNOMASSAGE Terry & Paul Brussel-Gibbons & Marcus Brussel Jenkins

Hypnosis demonstration shows you how to slay the green eyed monster, release sexual inhibitions which are no longer serving you, and how to share full body multiple orgasms with your partners. Bring your senses alive through guided fantasy, experience the delights of sensual/spiritual connection through orchestrated hypnomassage --for singles, dyads, triads and loving groups. Romantic music heightens the intimacy.

11:00 - Midnight SING, DANCE & PARTY Sophia Songhealer

4. LAGUNA POST-CONFERENCE: TANTRA WITH STEVEN VOGUE AND ANASTAS HARRIS

9am - 2:30pm Living Compersion: an Experiential and Tantric Workshop - Sunday Oct 24, 2004 - Post-conference Green Room - Anastas Harris & Steven Vogue

In Compersion you're uplifted when your lover's uplifted through of love and sex he or she shares with others. Accept that while your
lovers love others you can feel pleasure, excitation and joy.  Compersion is essential to Polyamory. Tantra, a spiritual path leading to compersion flows seamlessly into Polyamory. In twos, fours and small groups, we move into compersion, tantra and polyamory--
mentally, sensually, playfully or soulfully. You either stretch boundaries or move into already extended boundaries with a variety of
individuals or couples. We give you enriching and supportive situations to develop your compersionate nature.

5. WORLD POLYAMORY CONFERENCES: LAGUNA BCH CA, ORANGE SPRINGS, FL, HARBIN HOT SPRINGS, CA; BRYN MAWR, PA

A. Southwest Regional Conference
Loving Beyond the Matrix
October 22-24, 2004
Southern CA : Aliso Creek Inn, Laguna Beach (between LA and San Diego)

B. Northwest Regional Conference
Celebrate Relationship Choice
June 17 - 19 2005
Northern CA: Harbin Hot Springs, Middletown (north of San Francisco)

C. Southeast Regional Conference
Return To The Tribe: Week-Long Polyamorous Community
April 20-26, 2005
Middle FL: Orange Springs, Florida

D. Northeast Regional Conference
Perfecting The Polyamory Paradigm
September 23-25, 2005
Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania

6. CALL FOR PRESENTERS:
The World Polyamory Association seeks presenters and workshop facilitators for their conferences. We've added three conferences for 2005 and would love to see what you have to offer. If you're interested in being considered as a presenter, please go to
http://www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com/ and fill out the Presenter's form. Please let us know which conferences you're available.
For more information call 808-244-4103.

7. DEADLINE TO REGISTER FOR LAGUNA MEALS 

If you wish to get the meals at the Laguna Conference you must register for meals by Sunday, October 17th. We need the final numbers for the chef by Monday the 18th. We get 4 hot meals: Friday October 22, 2005 dinner, Saturday October 23 hot breakfast, lunch and dinner, all for $100. I'm getting the menu later today and I'll put it up on the web site as soon as I get it. There's vegetarian and non-vegetarian selections which are served buffet-style out on the large covered terrace outside of our conference. While you may go out for meals and can perhaps even save money, I highly recommend getting the meal packet as meals are the ideal time to network, synergize, flirt, date and make new friends. We're on our own for Friday breakfast and lunch and Sunday breakfast and lunch (if you're attending the post-conference). There's a restaurant at the hotel and we're close to the beach where we can picnic and get sand in our sandwhiches.

8 DAY RATE FOR LAGUNA CONFERENCE ADDED

We got a bunch of requests for a day rate so we've added that option to our registration form for the Laguna Beach Conference. The day rate for Members is $100 and Non-Members is $130.

9. OPENINGS STILL AVAILABLE ON LAGUNA CONFERENCE POLY DISCUSSION PANEL

If you want to be a part of our polyamory discussion panel and would like to share your story, please contact Janet at 808-244-4103 or send us an email at WorldPolyamory@aol.com. Tell us a bit about your poly path and why we might find it interesting to listen to you. The board will chose the best stories and let you know if you've been chosen at registration Friday morning October 22nd.


10. CONFERENCE INTERVIEWS

If you're interested in being interviewed at the Laguna Beach Polyamory Conference, please let us know. We've been approached by a couple of videographers and reporters who're working on videos, documentaries and stories. Be prepared to sign a release form. If you wish to remain anonymous, bring a disguise if you're consenting to be on film. Please send an email to WorldPolyamory@aol.com and put "Interview" in the subject line. Please indicate If you're a reporter or videographer and wish to film or interview our volunteers.