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IíM POLYAMOROUS by Janet Kira Lessin

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This is my official declaration that Iím polyamorous. Iím polyamorous and Iím in love with everyone. Yet I realize that love and involvement are two different things, time is limited and relationships are complex, complicated and if personalities donít match, chaotic. So I must be selective.

I love myself, so I chose to be involved with those whoíll love and respect me. I donít always succeed in surrounding myself with those who treat me nice, so I constantly fine-tune life adjusting those with whom Iíll permit in my personal space. Iím learning about boundaries which I didnít have for the most part in the first half of my life due to abuse and programming.

Since my heart is huge and my chakras wide open, people project their disowned selves on me and the good, bad and ugly, so I get a lot of drama and intense emotions coming my way from others and elicited from my being. As a result, my life is rich, intense and full. And complicated.

Iím a tantra teacher and psychotherapist specializing in relationship counseling which creates a life so full of potentiality and possibility, I am in awe and at the same time very busy.

My studies, therapy, internal processes, meditation, practice and self reflection have led me to a state of samadhi, enlightenment. Yet as I write those very words that I am enlightened (full of light), I judge myself and attempt to censor my words and say to myself, "How can you be so vain?" And as I criticize myself and call myself vain, Carly Simonís song, "Youíre So Vain" plays in my head. Then I smile, laugh at myself for being human and I hear my husband telling me, "Nothing in the human condition is alien to any of us." I realize the thoughts I think are probably thought by many of you. In the end I decide to edit my words and now restate my revelation and say that I am officially, "on the path."

I realize I am enlightened in the aspect that I have obtained a state of grace, an awareness and capacity to love each and every one of you totally, completely, unconditionally. This state is a place we can all go to and eventually will get to. From this level of awareness where we know weíre one, weíll stop killing each other, the animals, plants, environment, planet, water, land, air and Earth. Weíll survive.

I woke up crying. Havenít done that in years. Itís still dark. Only 5:30 AM.

I realize Jesus walked the world in this state of being in love with everyone and everything. On one hand Iím not even sure of Jesus actually lived, was a real person or just a mythical being, an archetype. On the other hand, I remember an incarnation with Jesus. I was one of his wives and yes, he was polyamorous. I died, pregnant, wasnít able to give birth to his child. Once again I want to censor my words. But Iíll just let them stand and reflect and you can simply read them and digest, decide if theyíre true or just judge that Janetís crazy or maybe on to something or on something or whatever. And that too is ok because Iím in love with you. Iím in love with you all.

I wonder if this state of awareness will last. Will I still feel this way tomorrow?

My husband, dearest beloved one is so poly and in his 70s, almost 71 now and heís actually made love with hundreds, maybe even thousands. Some still living. Many dead. But he told me years ago, 13 in fact when we met, that he loved everyone he ever loved and made love with. And while I believed him, I just couldnít quite fully grok it at the time. But I took it in and decided to open up my then blossoming, just being birthed poly self and began to explore opening up my body, mind, soul and being to more love.

It scared the crap out of my Inner Child. And it opened me up to more judgment, rejection, projection and the worst of all, criticism. But I experienced, reacted, reflected, rejected, wiped my tears, collected my pride, picked up the remnants of my self esteem, did my therapy on it all, and amazingly emerged relatively whole and unscathed despite it all.

Ironically, at a point where Iím currently living more monogamously than I have in my 20 years of actively exploring polyamory, I am aware that Iím more polyamorous philosophically, politically and spiritually than ever before.

A part of me is licking my wounds and feeling rejected. Iíve gained weight, Iím aging and I canít afford a face lift. Iím lazy, busy and canít seem to get to the gym. Iím stressed, too busy while at the same time in love, ecstatic and blissed out. What a schism. Yes, thatís me, my lifeĖcomplex.

So in the midst of such emotional turmoil and joy, I met yesterday with my husband, a friend of five years and two new people and we all had the most interesting conversation Iíve been blessed to be a part of in years. Reflecting back on the moment in my dream state, I realized that I was in love with all those people at the same time. We talked about the state of the world, 2012, Earth changes, ETs, the environment and the fate of the polar bears.

In my dream I realized I was in love with my world and all beings. And in the discussion it was said that polar bears are doomed because the ice caps are dissolving. Theyíre going, gone, as witnessed in person by the two new people in the group, fresh off the plane from Alaska. The glaciers are gone! Global warming IS. And I want my polar bears to survive.

We talked about how humans destroy eco-systems. My friend of 5 years sits on some planning commission boards here in Maui and theyíre planning a development and have authorized a system where theyíll inject toxins deep within the Earthís core to create energy, power for this new development. They have no idea what it will do to the environment, but it will allow them to build this upscale housing plan and golf course for the ultra rich.


But.... it solves their immediate problem so they can build this ultra deluxe, super rich gated community.

And I think of the polar bears..... and the kodiak bears theyíve begun to mate with. And the whales, and the fish, and the coral reef. And Iím in love with it all. And I wake up crying. And my mind is screamingĖIím in love, Iím in love, IíM IN LOVE!

We also spoke of extraterrestrials and making contact and the techno fixes they might have for humanity. And Iím reminded of Jesus and always looking outside myself for the savior to come down from the heavens and rescue us poor humans. Then I think of the plight of the polar bears and humanityís part in pollution and poor choices that will probably lead to all our demise.

While we spoke of waters rising which are now being documented daily, the news catches up with our conversation and less than 24 hours after being spoken, thousands die from an earthquake and the subsequent tsunami created in Japan. And Maui citizens were propelled from their low lying and ocean front homes and tourist and resident alike spent a night of hell, island-wide warning sirens blaring every hour till dawn. Maui was barely touched. But it sure was one heck of a wake up call.

Earth changes, pole shifts, global warming, earthquakes, sinking shores, rising tides, itís all real. Itís happening. Planning commissions here (and most likely elsewhere) still plan ocean front communities and resorts knowing full well those places are going to be under water in very short order and many living there will be killed.

So I wake up crying, saying, "Iím in love." Yes I love you. And it dawns on me that I am now truly 100% polyamorous, in love with you all, with it all, all beings, planets, galaxies, good, bad, uglyĖit ALL!

I realize every single one of us can wake up and remember, just like me, in the twinkling of an eye like they say in the Bible. And in that precise moment, when we wake up, the insanity stops. For if weíre in love with everyone, all beings, all things, we will stop hurting, destroying and killing.

So yes, Iím Princess Leia and itís my job to save the world. While the Death Star (Nibiru, Planet X) is coming heralding the Earth Changes, 2012 and weíre all going to die, in the midst of it all, I, we, all realize, weíre all in love. Leia loves Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Obiwan Kanobe, Yoda, C3PO, R2D2, Wookie and Jabba the Hut and they love her. Even Darth Vader is Father, and heís now good. Trumpets blare and we all celebrate. In love with it all, all beings, the galaxy, we love and preserve it all so we all have a place to live, love and learn.

With the world saved since we now all love each other and the planet, we want the best for all beings. Whew! Now I can focus on me.

Now that I love myself again, warts, wrinkles, weight and all, I can weigh my options. Who will I have in my life and my bed?

I look down between my legs as I write in my journal and my new kitty purrs, warming my soul. So my new lovers will have to love her, of course. And Sashaís my Soul Mate, Twin Flame and Primary. Through past-life and inter-life regression therapy combined with tantra, we remember weíve been together since of dawn of time through hundreds of lifetimes. We like being partners, sharing lives and lovers.

So any who love me will have to love Sasha for Sasha and I are such an integral part of one another. He is in my consciousness every moment and I in his. We take each other into consideration in all decisions as if we were one being with two heads. Certainly our hearts are one. And weíre Siamese twins connected at the soul.

And I love this land, this incredible jungle paradise and my funky house that requires so much love, care, maintenance and hard work. So those who love us must surely love our Maui hippy home and will also love to work, toil the soil, fix, repair and co-create conscious, sustainable community, a vision of Heaven on Earth.

We await you, dear beloveds. We know you are there. We love you already. We know you care. Will you awaken and evolve, so we desire to be involved? Will you love enough to create a consensus reality where all are loved and feel it to the core of their being? Think about it. Let us know. In the meanwhile, Iím in love. I love you. I love it all.

Janet Kira Lessin

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