This is my official declaration that Iím polyamorous.
Iím polyamorous and Iím in love with everyone. Yet I
realize that love and involvement are two different
things, time is limited and relationships are complex,
complicated and if personalities donít match, chaotic. So
I must be selective.
I love myself, so I chose to be involved with those
whoíll love and respect me. I donít always succeed in
surrounding myself with those who treat me nice, so I
constantly fine-tune life adjusting those with whom Iíll
permit in my personal space. Iím learning about boundaries
which I didnít have for the most part in the first half of
my life due to abuse and programming.
Since my heart is huge and my chakras wide open, people
project their disowned selves on me and the good, bad and
ugly, so I get a lot of drama and intense emotions coming
my way from others and elicited from my being. As a
result, my life is rich, intense and full. And
Iím a tantra teacher and psychotherapist specializing
in relationship counseling which creates a life so full of
potentiality and possibility, I am in awe and at the same
time very busy.
My studies, therapy, internal processes, meditation,
practice and self reflection have led me to a state of
samadhi, enlightenment. Yet as I write those very words
that I am enlightened (full of light), I judge myself and
attempt to censor my words and say to myself, "How can you
be so vain?" And as I criticize myself and call myself
vain, Carly Simonís song, "Youíre So Vain" plays in my
head. Then I smile, laugh at myself for being human and I
hear my husband telling me, "Nothing in the human
condition is alien to any of us." I realize the thoughts I
think are probably thought by many of you. In the end I
decide to edit my words and now restate my revelation and
say that I am officially, "on the path."
I realize I am enlightened in the aspect that I have
obtained a state of grace, an awareness and capacity to
love each and every one of you totally, completely,
unconditionally. This state is a place we can all go to
and eventually will get to. From this level of awareness
where we know weíre one, weíll stop killing each other,
the animals, plants, environment, planet, water, land, air
and Earth. Weíll survive.
I woke up crying. Havenít done that in years. Itís
still dark. Only 5:30 AM.
I realize Jesus walked the world in this state of being
in love with everyone and everything. On one hand Iím not
even sure of Jesus actually lived, was a real person or
just a mythical being, an archetype. On the other hand, I
remember an incarnation with Jesus. I was one of his wives
and yes, he was polyamorous. I died, pregnant, wasnít able
to give birth to his child. Once again I want to censor my
words. But Iíll just let them stand and reflect and you
can simply read them and digest, decide if theyíre true or
just judge that Janetís crazy or maybe on to something or
on something or whatever. And that too is ok because Iím
in love with you. Iím in love with you all.
I wonder if this state of awareness will last. Will I
still feel this way tomorrow?
My husband, dearest beloved one is so poly and in his
70s, almost 71 now and heís actually made love with
hundreds, maybe even thousands. Some still living. Many
dead. But he told me years ago, 13 in fact when we met,
that he loved everyone he ever loved and made love with.
And while I believed him, I just couldnít quite fully grok
it at the time. But I took it in and decided to open up my
then blossoming, just being birthed poly self and began to
explore opening up my body, mind, soul and being to more
It scared the crap out of my Inner Child. And it opened
me up to more judgment, rejection, projection and the
worst of all, criticism. But I experienced, reacted,
reflected, rejected, wiped my tears, collected my pride,
picked up the remnants of my self esteem, did my therapy
on it all, and amazingly emerged relatively whole and
unscathed despite it all.
Ironically, at a point where Iím currently living more
monogamously than I have in my 20 years of actively
exploring polyamory, I am aware that Iím more polyamorous
philosophically, politically and spiritually than ever
A part of me is licking my wounds and feeling rejected.
Iíve gained weight, Iím aging and I canít afford a face
lift. Iím lazy, busy and canít seem to get to the gym. Iím
stressed, too busy while at the same time in love,
ecstatic and blissed out. What a schism. Yes, thatís me,
So in the midst of such emotional turmoil and joy, I
met yesterday with my husband, a friend of five years and
two new people and we all had the most interesting
conversation Iíve been blessed to be a part of in years.
Reflecting back on the moment in my dream state, I
realized that I was in love with all those people at the
same time. We talked about the state of the world, 2012,
Earth changes, ETs, the environment and the fate of the
In my dream I realized I was in love with my world and
all beings. And in the discussion it was said that polar
bears are doomed because the ice caps are dissolving.
Theyíre going, gone, as witnessed in person by the two new
people in the group, fresh off the plane from Alaska. The
glaciers are gone! Global warming IS. And I want my polar
bears to survive.
We talked about how humans destroy eco-systems. My
friend of 5 years sits on some planning commission boards
here in Maui and theyíre planning a development and have
authorized a system where theyíll inject toxins deep
within the Earthís core to create energy, power for this
new development. They have no idea what it will do to the
environment, but it will allow them to build this upscale
housing plan and golf course for the ultra rich.
BUT THEY DONíT REALLY KNOW WHAT THIS NEW ENERGY SYSTEM
WHERE THEY INJECT TOXINS IN TO THE EARTH WILL
But.... it solves their immediate problem so they can
build this ultra deluxe, super rich gated community.
And I think of the polar bears..... and the kodiak
bears theyíve begun to mate with. And the whales, and the
fish, and the coral reef. And Iím in love with it all. And
I wake up crying. And my mind is screamingĖIím in love,
Iím in love, IíM IN LOVE!
We also spoke of extraterrestrials and making contact
and the techno fixes they might have for humanity. And Iím
reminded of Jesus and always looking outside myself for
the savior to come down from the heavens and rescue us
poor humans. Then I think of the plight of the polar bears
and humanityís part in pollution and poor choices that
will probably lead to all our demise.
While we spoke of waters rising which are now being
documented daily, the news catches up with our
conversation and less than 24 hours after being spoken,
thousands die from an earthquake and the subsequent
tsunami created in Japan. And Maui citizens were propelled
from their low lying and ocean front homes and tourist and
resident alike spent a night of hell, island-wide warning
sirens blaring every hour till dawn. Maui was barely
touched. But it sure was one heck of a wake up call.
Earth changes, pole shifts, global warming,
earthquakes, sinking shores, rising tides, itís all real.
Itís happening. Planning commissions here (and most likely
elsewhere) still plan ocean front communities and resorts
knowing full well those places are going to be under water
in very short order and many living there will be killed.
So I wake up crying, saying, "Iím in love." Yes I love
you. And it dawns on me that I am now truly 100%
polyamorous, in love with you all, with it all, all
beings, planets, galaxies, good, bad, uglyĖit ALL!
I realize every single one of us can wake up and
remember, just like me, in the twinkling of an eye like
they say in the Bible. And in that precise moment, when we
wake up, the insanity stops. For if weíre in love with
everyone, all beings, all things, we will stop hurting,
destroying and killing.
So yes, Iím Princess Leia and itís my job to save the
world. While the Death Star (Nibiru, Planet X) is coming
heralding the Earth Changes, 2012 and weíre all going to
die, in the midst of it all, I, we, all realize, weíre all
in love. Leia loves Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Obiwan
Kanobe, Yoda, C3PO, R2D2, Wookie and Jabba the Hut and
they love her. Even Darth Vader is Father, and heís now
good. Trumpets blare and we all celebrate. In love with it
all, all beings, the galaxy, we love and preserve it all
so we all have a place to live, love and learn.
With the world saved since we now all love each other
and the planet, we want the best for all beings. Whew! Now
I can focus on me.
Now that I love myself again, warts, wrinkles, weight
and all, I can weigh my options. Who will I have in my
life and my bed?
I look down between my legs as I write in my journal
and my new kitty purrs, warming my soul. So my new lovers
will have to love her, of course. And Sashaís my Soul
Mate, Twin Flame and Primary. Through past-life and
inter-life regression therapy combined with tantra, we
remember weíve been together since of dawn of time through
hundreds of lifetimes. We like being partners, sharing
lives and lovers.
So any who love me will have to love Sasha for Sasha
and I are such an integral part of one another. He is in
my consciousness every moment and I in his. We take each
other into consideration in all decisions as if we were
one being with two heads. Certainly our hearts are one.
And weíre Siamese twins connected at the soul.
And I love this land, this incredible jungle paradise
and my funky house that requires so much love, care,
maintenance and hard work. So those who love us must
surely love our Maui hippy home and will also love to
work, toil the soil, fix, repair and co-create conscious,
sustainable community, a vision of Heaven on Earth.
We await you, dear beloveds. We know you are there. We
love you already. We know you care. Will you awaken and
evolve, so we desire to be involved? Will you love enough
to create a consensus reality where all
are loved and feel it to the core of their being? Think
about it. Let us know. In the meanwhile, Iím in love. I
love you. I love it all.
Janet Kira Lessin