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I’m reading an advanced copy of “Gaia and the New Politics
of Love: Notes for a Poly Planet”, by Serena Anderlini, who
was one of our keynoters at the 2007 World Polyamory
Association Harbin Polyamory Conference. I’m in awe.
Serena’s new book’s is a polemic that can shake the world
into loving survival, and I’ll have lots more to say about
it in future posts. Right now, I abridge a couple of
paragraphs to give you a feel for this stirring manifesto:
“Bi and poly orgies are emotionally connecting orgies:
orgies of oxytocin where a symbiotic energy prevails; where
the spasm of turgidity dissolves in ecstatic duration....The
combined practice of bi and poly love empowers individual
players to consciously navigate its flow and become
consensually immersed in the movement of the symbiotic
energy generated by our aural, astral and physical bodies at
play.
“When both bi and poly paradigms function together in the
orgy flow, No one has control over what develops, yet all
trust that it will not destroy what is already in place; no
one presumes exclusivity, yet all are aware of possible
temporary exclusions ensuing from developing bonds and
relationships....Emotions become manifest as sexual and
erotic play.
“The correspondence between the emotional and erotic realms
enables players to maximize the love energy they share....
and enable the creation of networks of emotional
sustainability that result in symbiotic plateaus of enhanced
awareness. These plateaus involve crises that manifest at
certain points in the network whose collective management
can productively turn them into opportunities for deeper
levels of symbiosis [and] move the entire network on a
higher level of awareness that enables more focused and
productive experiments in the management of shared emotional
resources ...The network unctions like a sustainable
ecosystem for all these interpersonal energies. It creates
sustainablity, balance and of resources for all involved.”
The success of poly orgies–we call them love-ins–as growth
machines depends upon successful management of the emotions
evoked in the flow of the sexualloving. What we in the
Lessin Pod use as our management paradigm after our love-ins
is a gestalt/centering encounter the next morning. Each
participant takes a turn expressing unfinished emotional
business, appreciations, learning from the love-in.
Any unfinished encounters are completed using Voice Dialogue
bonding resolution below.
I tell each person with unresolved emotions from the love-in
to take a turn and tell them:
Let where you’re sitting be the position for your Center,
where you hear all your inner voices.
Recall, then tell me when you felt pain, fear, insecurity as
we related to [I name the other person involved in the
unresolved emotional situation].
Say how you and s/he interacted in parent/child ways.
What bothered you about how s/he acted in relation to you?
Move to a cushion from which you'll roleplay him/her.
Pretend you're him/her.; roleplay him/her.. Exaggerate what
s/he said or did. Say what you, as him/her, fear, think and
suspect.
Now move to a cushion where you'll be yourself in relation
to him/her.
Respond to me as yourself again and say more than you
already said to him/her; say how you feel toward him/her.
Express your feelings, irrational thoughts and impulses;
exaggerate your feelings; express more.
Now return to your original cushion, the Center.
[When the person moves, say,] Say what
vulnerabilities--feelings of insecurity, fear, hurt--you and
s/he activate in each other.
How does he/she represent a disowned voice for you?
Describe your relation with him/her in parent-child terms.
Expand what you said before about how you and s/he shift
between enacting parent and child roles vis-a-vis each
other.
In what ways does the pattern you've described with him/her
re-create part of the pattern you had with the people who
raised you or a brother or sister?
Stand behind me now, facing the seat in which you enacted
voice within you that you projected on him/her. Maintain
neutrality; observe objectively. As I review the main things
you said in the disowned voice, sense its energy ### [I
Summarize what person said.]
Now return from standing in the Witness position to the seat
for your Center.
How can you, Center, nourish your vulnerable, Inner Child
without stifling your other voices?
How can you integrate the disowned voices the other person
represented into your life?
PLEASE SHARE ON THIS SITE HOW DO YOU CONDUCT YOUR
SEXUALLOVING SESSIONS & WHAT DO YOU DO TO RESOLVE
EMOTIONALLY UNFINISHED ISSUES THAT CAME UP DURING YOUR
LOVING
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World Polyamory Association 
