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I meditated, pleaded through my websites and contacts, even
prayed, “Please God, just in case you are a benevolent force
that answers prayers, SEND A CO-HUSBAND to help serve my
very high-maintenance–but definitely worth it–wife, Janet.
Yes, I have many gifts to share with my beloved mate–I cook,
clean, earn money counseling and leading workshops, and
daily adore her sexually. But I do poorly managing money,
fixing things around the house, coordinating our several
business and managing the builders Janet seems to always
have at work on our Tantric Temple here in West Maui Jungle.
And I invariably ride my bike, do yoga, or otherwise take
some time off each day to play physically. Janet, however,
works on grimly, running our businesses and tantric temple.
She resents what she sees as my addiction to physical
activity as I sympathize with her compulsive industry. So
both Janet and I wanted at least one other mate who could
help us with her overwhelming responsibilities
Furthermore, I cook and serve dinner, go to sleep around 8PM
and get up at 4AM; Janet goes to sleep at 10:30PM and wakes
at 7AM. Janet, after doing dishes, comes upstairs to the
bedroom around 9PM, wakes me to make love with her. Then,
while I return to sleep, she goes back down to our office,
still wired, to work till 11. Janet I thought, would benefit
from a second lover, one with late-night habits, to love her
more after I dream off.
Enter Janet’s new husband, Wind Dancer. He’s only
been here a month, but he’s made our life way better. He
washes the dishes after dinner while Janet goes upstairs at
8PM to play with me while I’m still frisky. Around 9:30PM,
Janet goes downstairs to enjoy her new hubby. In the
morning, I meet Janet with her a cuddle or a tantric
connection, dream analysis and breakfast.
NVC: Wind Dancer fixes things around the house, managed the
builders, helps with the business, assists at my workshops
and furthermore, helps our communication. We use Rosenberg’s
Compassionate Communication (NVC), which we’ve all been
studying, in our everyday communication. Our lives are
getting sweeter everyday thanks to Wind Dancer and
Rosenberg’s communication system.
And we’re open to another nine or so family mates, now that
we have this wonderful communication tool. Check out
www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com and E-mail us at
LessinsInLove@aol.com if you’re interested in the
polyamorous community we’re creating here on Maui.
Here’s a little practice exercise using Compassionate
Communication for you to try:
PRACTICE COMPASSIONATE COMMUNICATION
(See Rosenberg. M., 1999,Nonviolent
Communication, Puddledancer Press)
[Relax and take turns with your partner. You
take each other through the cues below. The reader reads the
cues in bold aloud to a partner, the responder. Reader reads
anything enclosed in square brackets [like this] silently.
Where you see asterisks (* * *), it's the responder’s cue to
respond: give her/him a few breaths to do so. ]
Tell me of an incident or recurrent situation where you
experienced emotional upset or distress in reaction to my
BEHAVIOR. ***
Tell me what you heard me say and saw me do. ***
Express how you felt EMOTIONally when you saw or heard me
doing the behavior you reacted to emotionally. ***
What ideas, hopes, fears, wants, NEEDS or values of yours
launched your emotional response to my behavior? ***.
Make REQUESTS now. Tell me what I can do, specific behaviors
a camera could see me doing to help you meet the need my
behavior triggered. ***
What would you like to tell me about your experience
responding to these cues? ***
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World Polyamory Association 
