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Part 1: Janet's Reflections
I'm World Polyamory Association's Chief Head Focalizer, yet
I spend most of my residential lovelife monogamously with my
husband, Sasha, rather than living polyamorously with our
lovers. Most of our lovers live elsewhere; we call them our
non-residential POLY-POD. While we wait for our pod-mates to
complete what they must so they can come live with us here
on Maui, we date others and our pod-mates date other lovers
others too.
On Maui, Sasha and I teach tantra school and coach
individuals, couples, triads and moresomes where we meet
many open-minded and like-minded people whom we vet as
prospective poly-mates and pod-mates. From this process we
learn how much family-of-origin deprogramming prospective
lovers have done.
If, on the one hand, we discover we and they experience
mutual attraction, we wait until they complete tantra school
or coaching . We keep ethical distance from them while we
teach or coach them. When we finish our professional
relationship, we may date each other. But if, during our
professional relating, we see that they need lots of
reprogramming, we won't admit them to our pod until they
rescript much. They must uplevel their emotion-based
childhood-anchored addictive demands into preferences before
we'll date them.
Around the Holidays, Annie--a Mainlander who'd studied
tantra with us years back--and her partner Erik visited us
and we all hit it off. We invited them to our New Year's
Tantra Ritual.
I had no sex-pectations of any of the others joining us for
the intimate sexual parts of the evening Ritual, though I
knew I'd make love to Sasha at Midnight. At Midnight every
New Years Sash and I recommit and remarry each other.
The Ritual moved me, to my surprise, into Erik's arms.
Rarely do I vibrate sexually like I did for Erik. The older
I get, the pickier I get. While I can love someone and even
make love with him or her, it's not with the kind of
skyrockets and fireworks I felt in Erik's arms. I remembered
I had a tingle of interest--but not a heart-throb
falling-in-love sensation--in Erik when we met. But tonight
there was something about his arms. Suddenly, we were
kissing.
I forced myself to pull back from his kiss. I went to Sasha
and Annie (Erik's partner), to ask their permission. I
always disbelief I'm permitted to go to intimate places with
a new lover and not lose my partner or distress my new
lover's partner. Earlier in my poly pilgrimage, I hurt a
woman when I had an affair with her husband. And now, 15
years later, with guilt and shame from this earlier episode
salient in my psyche, I still hesitate and ask for approval
and permission. However, in this now, Sasha smiled. Annie
said, “Sure, have fun." So Erik and I went for it.
Amazing stuff, love. Powerful thing, sex. I went there with
full abandon. Erik met me. I have this uncanny ability to
merge consciousness, submit to a total surrender. He did
too. We met in time and space. We merged consciousness,
experiencing past and future lives, dancing in the cosmos.
We remembered we've been together before, in other times,
other bodies, other places. We wore each other out. Erik and
I returned to Annie and Sash, then we both went on to play
with some of the other people at the Ritual.
Sasha and I joined all our chakras when we made love at
midnight. We proposed again to each. We again wed,
recommitted to our vows, pledged new vows, lit candles and
announced, "We are wed again." The group roared, celebrated
our love.
We all had orgasms in the honor of peace. Hope our sex
magick works. We all dedicated our lovemaking to
compassionate world peace. The group paused to sing peace
songs, pray, wish, meditate, and picture humanity gaining
enough sanity to save itself. Time for us to become a
civilized civilization.
We celebrated the birth of 2006 past Midnight. Erik and I
returned to each other and made love again several times as
the year’s first hours flew by. Finally, around dawn, Sasha
and I staggered upstairs and welcomed the New Year with one
last joining. All the energy from the hours of lovemaking
and orgasming that night crescended for Sash and I as we
roared and climaxed together.
Next morning, all the participants in the New Year’s Tantra
Ritual gathered, ate and relived the evening. We each shared
our emotions. We said what, for each of us, was the most and
least favorite experience last night. No one had a least
favorite. All appreciated and celebrated what we'd said and
done and felt about each other.
Next day, Annie left Maui; Erik was to stay here another
week. When he called us, we invited him over for a date. He
said he and Annie agreed to only love others together, but
said he'd call and ask Annie if she'd release him to connect
with us. "Don't", I said, "Don't pressure her." Instead, we
reviewed dates the three of us could join Annie
again--probably next New Year Ritual.
That's when I realized I'd been harboring sexpectations! I'd
fantasized Annie and Erik would be "the ones." Sigh, when
will I ever learn? But wait? Before I fall down my dark hole
again, that hole of relationship dysfunction where I require
people to act as I wish, do what I will--is there another
way to see this? I took a deep breath and looked again.
I told myself I can appreciate what Erik and I had. I can
hold our connection in my heart and mind as whole and
complete in of itself. Erik and I shared deep, intimate,
divine love. He doesn't have to do anything more for what we
HAVE (and I purposely use the present tense). What we HAVE
need never be anything more or less than it is. It simply
is. We love. We are love. Whether or not we get to make love
soon or not is not really important. Erik doesn't have to
marry me, live with me or realistically ever see me again.
We have love, here, there, alive, dead and our love
is/was/always will be. That's just the way it is.
We all originate from divine loving oneness. Occasionally
we're brave to surrender to that oneness and remember from
whence we came. Lovers have been transcending their separate
self-senses, communing each other, touching each other's
spirits and experiencing unity with the omnipresent divine
for centuries. Now, with modern tantra and consensual
polyamory, you can love more than one person. You can love
two or more lovers intimately, deeply, passionately,
romantically. You needn't divorce, demonize, separate, leave
your partner to find love. You can love one person AND also
love another person at the same time. I have the best of all
worlds--my twin flame (Sasha), soul mates (you know who you
are), polyamory (many loves and monogamy (one marriage).
It's so deliciously delightful. With polyamory I have my
cake, eat it too and while I'm at it, I also have a side of
chocolate ice cream.
****
Part 2: "Erik's" Reflections:
Howdy (& Aloha) from Jackson Hole,
Wyoming!
I'm the "Erik" mentioned in Janet's post [above] (which,
contrary to netiquette, I quote in it's entirety due to the
ground covered).
When "Annie" (my partner of 17 years) and I walked into
Janet & Sasha
Lessin's home, I pretty much knew the setting. Annie had
attended the School of
Tantra for several weeks by herself a few years ago. Their
great room which
triples as yoga studio, living room and study hall generates
a LOT of
positive energy. Surrounded by tropical forest and
overlooking Maui's north
shore, it's the ideal secluded spot for a Tantra school.
I'm biased and often judge people by the company they keep.
The Lessins
easily jumped through this hoop. Their friends and lovers
greeted us with a
warmth and transparency few outside the polyamory/intentional
community
movements realize exists. Annie whispered, "I told you it
was like this."
Talking to Sasha and Janet, we immediately established a
bond and respect.
I soon came to regard them as a brother and sister. I'm a
budding Tantra
instructor in a small town. Lineages which brought us to
the nexus of
our meeting were often the same. We're all longtime polys (Sasha
and I had
been polyamorous before the term existed). All had
experienced the hands-on
sensuality training emanating from More University.
Experience in bonuses
and trials of Intentional Community were a given. Deep and
abiding
awareness of consciousness expansion and evolution through
Tantra was understood by
everyone. Radical transparency (NOT caustic Radical Honesty
(tm) )
permeated everything. None seek gurus. We all live in
powerful places:
Maui and Jackson Hole. The common denominator to all of
this was Love.
Sasha invited us to a New Year's Tantra Ritual they were
hosting in a few
days. Annie and I looked at each other and immediately
accepted; I had long
voiced my desire to experience Tantra with the Lessins.
While it was an
honor to receive an outsider invitation to an event with 10
or 12 of their
intimate friends, there was also a hint of destiny. Of
course, we were
supposed to meet! I had no personal demands for sexual
contact; my deepest
desire was for intense Tantric energy development... be it
masturbation,
couples-play or group-play. The puja turned into largely
group-play.
Everyone received the energy and heart opening personally
sought.
Rather than an orgy of individuals celebrating pleasure,
there was a greater
awareness of being a woven mat of souls using Sacred
Sexuality as a
transcendent tool. It was a privilege being in a room with
so many adepts
who'd spent lifetimes cultivating the skills of body, mind
and soul which
brought us together. People not intensely on this path
would be repulsed or
consumed by the Fire.
I connected with a number of people, but will concentrate on
Janet. Her
post (below) accurately indicates extraordinary things
happened. Reading
Janet's internet essays, I knew I'd meet an intelligent,
spiritual, turned-on woman. I also knew she undergoes a
thorough process establishing communication and trust before
sexually connecting. This turned out to be wrong (we had
only recently met) and right (we obviously have many past
life experiences). Shortly after our first kiss, we both
felt a familiarity only souls trailing each other can feel.
Sexual breathing techniques I did (heck, probably both us
did) brought us onto a very elevated plane of
consciousness. Every stroke and touch was a poetic
expression of divine worship. When her yoni embraced my
lingam, I had the distinct impression of
a card deck of lifetimes being spun in front of us. Except,
this wasn't a
52 card deck; it was more like a 5200 deck of lifetimes and
love sessions
flipping past. Oh, Tantra, I kneel before you! We achieved
a state of
mutual orgasm which didn't climax or dissipate for hours.
This was a source
of prayer and knowledge, a validation of our deepest dreams
and desires.
For most lovers, Kundalini energy is a benevolent faucet
drip which adds
icing to the cake. Janet and I launched into a full bore
pipeline of shared
Kundalini. At that point, Tantric lessons and techniques
fall by the
wayside and become impediments. Nirvana has been achieved
and is self
cultivating.
Janet and I knew our time together was short and exchanged
words which
proved the mutual experience we shared; we knew the state
we'd achieved is
essential for planetary evolution and survival, and that our
path is Poly
Tantra. We know each other very well, and have connected
many, many times.
While some readers undoubtedly find Tantra to not be their
path to the
mountain top, I encourage all to seek some path and honor
the efforts of
others. Once we get to the top, the view is the same.
Unfortunately, Annie and I have careers which preclude
moving to Hawaii.
Similarly, Sasha and Janet have work to do on Maui.
Nonetheless, we hope to
meet again and continue our relationship.
Ahem... I end this missive blessing Sasha and Annie for
allowing Janet and
me unlimited freedom to explode together. Polyamory is the
fulcrum which
makes this possible. Without "compersion" (the opposite of
jealousy; taking
delight when a partner finds delight with another), this
could never have
been possible. Because of this, polyamory is an essential
part of our
sacred path.
Knowing the Lessins and their coursework, I highly recommend
their School of
Tantra to beginners and advanced students alike.
Happy Trails!
Aloha!
"Erik"
www.jacksonholetantra.com |
World Polyamory Association 
