Northwest California Regional Conference Celebrate Relationship Choice  

SUMMER 2005 PROGRAM HARBIN HOT SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA  

   Registration Desk Opens   BP

4 - 4:30PM

Newcomer’s Circle: Orienting to Polyamory- Dave Doleshal
Dave and oldtimers gather by the lower pool. Oldtimers and newcomers question each other and share experiences.  This orientation is especially designed for those new to polyamory and/or for those attending their first polyamory conference, - but all are welcome. It's a good place to begin getting your burning questions answered, get your feet wet and begin to get to know your fellow participants at the conference. LP

4:30 - 4:45PM

 

Welcome, Logistics, Schedule - Janet Kira Lessin,  Dave Doleshal  CC
Etiquette of contact, nudity, quiet areas in Harbin, areas where noise and sexuality's ok, no smoking or fires, keep your cups, etc. outlined.

4:45 -6:30PM

Pods for Intimate Community, Part 1 - Sasha Lessin, Janet Kira Lessin  CC
It's 4:45 in the afternoon. The carpeted-room at Harbin's Conference Center's huge, curtained and airconditioned. The rug's covered with people in small clusters and pairs--all adults, adults of every size, age and race. Some are snuggling. Most wear clothes, though several are half-naked. A few completely nude. All've been welcomed by World Polyamory Association Board Member Dave Doleshal.  Janet introduces Dr. Sasha Lessin who'll lead icebreakers and get us into intimate support groups (pods) before dinner. Likely we'll eat with at least some of your podmates.

In addition to creating intimacy, support, trust and a friendship circle, tonight's pod must set the stage for after-dinner a panel discussion on polyamory paths we've trod as well as well as a group experience Kelly Bryson leads on compassionate communication and cuddling, followed by Shama Malim and Don Kraig's playshop roleplaying entry into an established relation.

Pods are small face-to-face primary groups for conference integration. Our pod's a safe space to nourish community consciousness, create intimate, relationships us and our podners––the people in our pod––-can open-up, share what we deeply value and, most importantly, experience loving support for who we are and what we do.

Sasha directs us all to stand and mill around the room, shake each others' hands and gaze in one another's eyes. He says to notice the attractions that arise. Then, based on attractions we feel, he tells us to sit with six to twelve other folks.

The group we choose is our POD. It's the group we tell who we are and what we want. Our pod's the sacred circle of souls who encourage us to get what we want at the conference and in life. We talk now, and will talk tomorrow morning and Sunday, just before the conference ends. We'll talk with our pod mates about what we're learning about ourselves as we explore poly loving. 

6:30 - 7:30PM

Dinner CC

7:30 - 8:30PM

How We Do Poly - Janet Kira Lessin, Panel, Participants CC
This is a very popular format and often the favorite part of the conference for many. The panel is led by Janet Kira Lessin and includes polys of several varieties and everyone else who wishes to share how they make polyamory work for them. The audience gets to ask questions, so everyone's included. Newbies get valuable answers to begin their poly lives.

8:30 - 10PM

Compassionate Communication, Conscious Cuddling - Kelly Bryson CC
We use original music and tantra-like puja connecting exercises to create a conscious space. Then Kelly leads an experiential conversation about how to not compromise any of your relationship needs. (because compromise is where you share).  Get into sweet connection with each other’'s needs, instead of polarized by each other's strategies.  Learn consensual morality & transparency to support everyone’s choice for how they need to be loved & to create their own designer relationship.  Practice simple tools to QTIP (Quit taking it personally)& to deliver difficult messages compassionately and without criticism. Recovering your lovejoy when buttons have been pushed.  Recognize and transform the core beliefs that disconnect us from our lovejoy.  Recover and sustain the lovejoy in all your relationships
 

10 - 11:30PM

How To Enter An Established Poly Relationship - Shama Malin, Don Kraig CC
Learn to be a successful third, fourth, or fifth wheel! Navigating the waters smoothly when entering an established relationship can be rough. Shama & Don reveal important pointers that make the journey easier. You learn the most important aspects of how to deal with exciting dynamics a new person brings; the wonders and the potential pitfalls. Learn to create balance and harmony in triads and beyond. Explore practical skills including communication tools that can be used immediately to enhance and expand the quality of all your relationships.

Ambient Music by Salena
Salena, a one-woman band with vocals, synthesizer, guitars, harmonica, ocarina and bouzouki combines trance dance melodies, funky tunes and ethnic grooves in a progression of original songs that are powerful, liberating and colorful. Her singing’s warm and fun, her voice mesmerizing, rich and passionate with tones of groovy jazz and oriental mystique.
 

8 - 9AM

Breakfast  CC
 

9 - 9:30

Pods: Intimate Community, Part 2 - Sasha Lessin, Janet Kira Lessin  CC
Sasha leads the entire community though a warm-up exercise, where each person shares her or his name and a motion that the whole group imitates, to get a feeling of what it's like to be that person this morning.  Then we rejoin our pods (or shift pods if we desire) and review what we wanted to get out of this conference, what's happened so far, how we're doing getting what we said we wanted, what we want now and what steps we can take today to get what we want.
 

9:30 - 10AM

Presenters' Previews  CC:  Dave Doleshal, Master Rex, Rich Sposato, Kirsten Rose, Devaka, Dawn Davidson, Akien MacIain, Cougar Brenneman, Tana Gallante, Terry Brussel-Gibbons, Paul Brussel-Gibbons, Shama Malin, Don Kraig, Ed (JorEl) Elkin, Catherine Karklyn, Barry Smiler, & John Terry present previews of their presentations this morning and afternoon (The whole community meets in plenary session after dinner)
 

10AM - 11:30AM

So What Do You Really Want: Your Deepest Desires - Dave Doleshal CC
Getting what you REALLY want is light-years ahead of merely avoiding the things you DON'T want.  What you really want is far beyond "settling" for what you're "willing to tolerate", accepting what some belief system, the media, political correctness or an authority figure has taught you to say you want.  This is especially true in intimate relationships, and all the more so with non-monogamous relationships.  Most people are much clearer about what they wish to avoid than about what they actually want.  This absence of clarity about your true desires is often a major obstacle to creating satisfying polyamorous relationships.  Clarify your desires and you'll be ahead of the game in polyamory.  You can't GET what you want until you KNOW what you want. (So what do you want?)
 

Right Relationships: What's God's Plan for Earth(lings)?- Devaka UP
Devaka guides experientials into the spiritual dimension of polyamory. She offers, at the Upper Pool, meditations to transcend suffering, free our intuition, liberate our spirit, dance our oneness.

Inspiring Masculine Presence/Unleashing Feminine Fire - Scott Longwell  LP
All men and women possess both masculine and feminine qualities -- different people have different mixes of each. This workshop helps you find what your intrinsic individual mix is -- and experience the strength and freedom inherent in acting from that authentic place. You're most powerful, effective and free when you can animate both your masculine and feminine aspects from a place of love and openness as opposed to fear and defensiveness. The workshop helps men and women understand how to improve the way they come across to the opposite sex in a way that makes you irresistible in their eyes.

11:30AM -1PM

Power Exchange for Polys & Useful Skills from the Kink World - Master Rex  CC 
This workshop deals with the skills and etiquette required for BDSM power exchange and how they are applied in the real world to make life a simple pleasure. The approaches to negotiation and conflict resolution that are essential to successfully navigate the world of fetish and kink have direct benefits if properly and discretely applied in the world of relationship and business. With my submissive sex slave as a demo helper, I will cover all the basic tools that we can use as well as give a gentle and appetizing introduction to the world of Slaves and Masters. Fun and enjoyable.
 

No Separate Relationships - Kirsten Rose LP
Polyamory is often defined as several separate relationships going on simultaneously. However, an alternative perspective, inspired by shamanism, tantra and family systems theory, is to view polyamory all as one single relationship that encompasses multiple persons and multiple points of responsibility. Viewing relationships this way resolves a number of practical "problems" often confronting people wishing to create and sustain non-monogamous lifestyles.
 

1 - 2PM

Lunch  CC

2 - 3:30PM

On Agreements - Dawn Davidson, Akien MacIain  LP
"Safer" Agreements Agreements are one of the cornerstones of successful relating, in all aspects of our lives. We'll cover how to make more successful agreements, what should and shouldn't be in a safer sex agreement, and how to make agreements regarding emotional safety. We'll also discuss the agreements in our lives we're usually not even aware of. We will cover why agreements fail, and how to help insure their success. We'll also discuss how to recover when they fail. We'll be spending out time together in a combination of lecture, interactive discussion, and exercises
 

Chrysalis Wisdom Council - Cougar Brenneman, Tana Gallante UP

3:30 - 5PM

Rapid Techniques for Jealousy Management - Dave Doleshal  LP
There are many good ideas and effective techniques that can be used to manage jealousy. All of them work at least to some extent.  This workshop will include two others that are very powerful, easy to learn, but not yet widely known within the polyamory community.  These are the methods originally pioneered by psychologist Roger Callahan and methods invented by Dr. Edward Bach, a British Homeopathic physician.
 

Hypnofantasy/Hypnomassage - Terry & Paul Brussel-Gibbons  CC
Hypnosis demonstration shows you how to slay the green eyed monster, release sexual inhibitions which are no longer serving you, and how to share full body multiple orgasms with your partners. Bring your senses alive through guided fantasy, experience the delights of sensual/spiritual connection through orchestrated hypnomassage --for singles, dyads, triads and loving groups. Romantic music heightens the intimacy.
 

Communication Techniques for Expressing Yourself Intimately and Expansively - Scott Catamas UP
Scott will provide a series of very practical tools & tips for improving your communication.  There will be two parts to this workshop.  The first part will be for lovers, partners & intimate friends.  Scott will present his understanding of how to utilize Compassionate Communication (aka: NVC, or Nonviolent Communication) in creating safe, joyful and expansive relationships.   Learn how to connect more deeply and in a way in which your needs are being more fully met.
 

5 - 6:30PM

Poly Positives: Shama Malin, Don Kraig  CC
As we explore the new dynamics created in exploring the new vistas that the poly lifestyle offers, there are many challenges that are often discussed in books and workshops.  While it is important to be prepared for the pitfalls, it's more important to focus on WHY we are really doing this journey in the first, second and third place.

Facilitators Donald Michael Kraig and Shama will juicily and joyfully help you to remember the fun, pleasure, expansion and tranformations that make this wonderful lifestyle so worthwhile.  Through role play and various exercises, re-awaken your passion for freedom, connection and pleasure. Swim in the energy of LOVE.
 

Bi-Poly Option for the 21st Century - Ed Jor-El Elkin, Janet Kira Lessin LP
Explore bi-sexual polyamorous relationship in a safe and supportive environment. This workshop is for all levels of interest, especially for the Bi-Curious as well as the Bisexually experienced. A theoretical and experiential guide to the Bi-Poly option with guided imagery, pair and multiple partner exercises. Using movement and dance, transformational theater and role-playing exercises with opposite sex and same sex partners, we explore the bi-poly option in fantasy and in "reality".

Building Bridges: Practical Poly Relating to a Mono World - John Terry UP
Those of us who identify as polyamorous have had, presently have (or will have) close relationships with those in the monogamous world. Expanding upon the metaphor of “bridge building”, John examines five dynamic functions of active loving in this presentation. These principles may be successfully applied developing, enhancing and maintaining relationships both with those outside, and inside, the poly community.

6:30 - 7:30PM

Dinner  cc

8 - 9:30PM

Tes and The God Squad: The Music of Polyamory cc
Tes sings of polyamory as the fasttrack to world peace and has been honored by the UN as a musical prophet and troubadour of peace.  Married, polyamorous and tantric, Tes heals as she entertains.  She says, "I beam into our star system from a future civilization in response to the profound call of humanity for both physical and spiritual liberation."  A conduit for the Divine Feminine and Infinite Intelligence, Tes attunes your awareness to your natural divinity.  In her intoxicating presence you experience love with the supreme magic of Life Itself.
 

9:30 - 11PM

Tantric Polyamory--The Art of Conscious Loving - Shama Malin, Don Kraig cc
We frequently hear in the media how sex in relationships eventually becomes boring. Even some people in poly relationships often find themselves in a rut, doing the same old thing while getting lesser results. It doesn’t have to be that way!  

Through Tantra, you can experience NOW how to resurrect the passion and ecstasy in every aspect of your life as you expand your passion, your pleasure, and the depth of your intimacy beyond your wildest dreams!  Step into a new paradigm of love, of sex and of living.  Shama and Don Kraig guide you on this amazing exploration of awakening, consciousness and bliss.

Ambient Music by Salena
Salena, a one-woman band with vocals, synthesizer, guitars, harmonica, ocarina and bouzouki combines trance dance melodies, funky tunes and ethnic grooves in a progression of original songs that are powerful, liberating and colorful. Her singing’s warm and fun, her voice mesmerizing, rich and passionate with tones of groovy jazz and oriental mystique.

9 - 9:15AM

Presenters' Previews  CC: Catherine Karklyn, Barry Smiler,  Ed Jor-El Elkin, Harold Kornylak, Amber Seitz, Shama Malin, Don Kraig, Rich Sposato and Scott Catamas preview presentations they present today.
 

Polyamory Games - Catherine Karklyn & Barry Smiler CC
Yes, there are such things! Totally fun.  Non-coercive.  Interactive and participatory. Touch/body positive, partner-changing, bonding, clothing-optional, win-win for all.  Bring bedsheets.
 

Senior Sex: Ups & Downs, Ins & Outs - Ed Jor-El Elkin LP
At over 65, many in our culture think that sex is over, especially when you are still young.  However, for many of us in the "senior" category, an ongoing sex life is certainly an asset although perhaps not as compulsive as when we were younger.  With Viagra, Cyalis and other boosts to male sexuality available, this forum will present an opportunity to candidly discuss the issues concerning men and women in their elder years. All ages are welcome.
 

Loving Beyond the Dyad - Harold Kornylak, Amber Seitz  CC
An enduring, fulfilling two person partnership is rare enough. Even most animals tend to pair-bond. It’s totally impractical to think of expanding beyond the dyad, perhaps to 3, or 4? In Beyond the Dance of Two, we explore the unique dynamics when more than 2 relate. We explore how to keep a triad from being a pair plus one. Gain insight into your relating style and how compatible it is for going beyond the dyad. (Discussion and experiential exercises).
 

Sex Magick - Shama Malin, Don Kraig LP
Oftentimes having a common goal can help bring poly families together. But how do you achieve these goals?  One aspect of sensuality is the incredible amount of energy that can be produced.  If we could direct that energy to the common goal, then nothing can stop us!

Sex Magick is simply the ability to do exactly this.  In this workshop, you will learn the basics of designing a magikal goal and using sensual activities in the poly family to raise energy and direct it to that goal.

Funshop Facilitators are Donald Michael Kraig, author of Modern Sex Magick and Shama, Tantra Educator, author of Polyamory 101.  Come prepared to have fun and make magick with your friends and lovers. 

Co-housing as a Realistic Alternative Housing Option for a Polyamorous Community  Rich Sposato UP
Co-housing provides opportunities for personal growth and social support, but also presents additional difficulties generally not found in other forms of housing. This presentation explores the joys and challenges of living in a co-housing community. We compare co-housing communities with other forms of housing: single-family homes, condos, cooperatives, and communes. We also discuss how co-housing communities sustain themselves by emphasizing agreements, communication, and conflict-resolution.
 

Pod Retrospective & Parting Puja - Sasha Lessin, Janet Kira Lessin  CC
We gaze into the eyes of each person in our Harbin poly community, return to our pods to review to what degree we got what we sought here and what we learned.  Then the whole community participates in a ceremony of honoring and appreciation
 

 Lunch CC 
 

 Networking Time CC.  Go to the Harbin Theater next.
 

Sacred Sexuality, Tantra, Alternative Lifestyles and Polyamory in the Media - Scott Catamas  This presentation is at the Harbin Theater.
Learn from Scott's extensive experience in working in the media. He has written & produced successful film, television, video and DVD projects dealing with the themes of sacred sexuality, tantra, alternative lifestyles and polyamory for such outlets as HBO, NBC, FOX & UPN.  He will show highlights of his productions and answer your questions.

Enjoy Harbin till 10PM